You should totally skip over the ramble, I know future Becky will enjoy coming across it again at some point but it's just brain spew that doesn't go anywhere (o-_-o)
I've been thinking a lot lately about how we share ourselves online. Molly Soda has been mentioning it in regard to selfies lately and sharing some photos that maybe aren't what you would expect someone to share. That are supposedly more 'real', whatever that means. But even in those moments she points out that she's only sharing them to make you think she's approachable for example so surely they're just as thought out as the typical hot selfies. (Also she's an artist whose work is mainly her online profile, so are all of her posts heavily considered anyway?) There's a bit of a thing for sharing 'bad' photos of yourself but still only when you're clearly a conventionally pretty person or your make up is perfect but you're pulling a face. Being happy as a fat person is a 'movement' that's gaining momentum but within that there's a feeling that there is a way to be fat in a pretty way and if you have the wrong type of fat body you don't count. I always feel a bit like I shouldn't share selfies because my front camera is really low quality. Before I've even thought about my face I'm worrying that the best phone I can afford isn't good enough for me to be able to participate in the world. By using all the filters and stamps am I just covering up the fact that I don't like photos of myself or am I just having fun with things I think look cool? I love the idea of being able to just exist without all these standards but how do you share a photo of yourself or your surroundings without editing it to a certain degree anyway? You can't take a photo without thinking about it. And there's nothing wrong with editing stuff.
I don't know why I'm putting this here lol. I don't have any clear, articulate thoughts about any of it. Other than people should be able to happily exist without feeling like they are inadequate or not right. And however you are you should decide for yourself in each moment what you want to record and what you want to share without worrying about whether it's 'correct'. Be beautiful, be ugly. Only share your 'best' photos, share all of your photos. What does any of it mean anyway?
I'm trying to take more photos of myself because I like looking back at them. I don't spend much time per day on how I look and I have an old phone so when I take a photo of myself it never looks like the photos of someone who has a fancy front camera and is wearing really cool make up but that's ok. I need to get over it. I am existing as best I can and I'm going to be happy about it because otherwise what's the point.
I'll stop trying to be thoughtful now, here's some silly photos.
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