being anxious but having a nice time

I really hate sorting crochet patterns so that they're suitable to show to other people rather than my notebook scribbles that mostly serve to just jog my memory but I really want to get more patterns listed in my etsy shop so I stopped being a baby and got this octopus pattern sorted and listed. The two octopus' in the photo are listed too if you're the want an amigurumi octopus type but aren't the crochet type. I also got a new design listed in my society6 and redbubble, I think it's suitable for many an occasion.



Will took me out for Pizza Hut buffet and we also took some saved pennies, had a wander about and got some treats. I had a really nice day but also was in a slight panic the whole time. The mix of social anxiety and not being able to go out very often (and therefore totally out of practise at it) generally means when I do get to go somewhere I freak out the whole time. So when I got home I realised I hadn't taken any photos and not much video even though I carried my camera around all day. But this is a photo of all our new stuff on the floor when we got home (where I also was, fighting my 'had a fun time' headache) and I show some of it off in the video too. Pizza Hut has a drinks machine with flavoured Pepsi and you can mix them and it's basically the best thing ever. Colourful clothes, toys and stationery are also the best thing ever.



My diary, an insight into my super exciting, beautiful life for you.




grumpy scruffbag



This fluffball's face just kills me. Every time I see it, dead. look at that wet chin/beard *squee*!!!



Some more of my ebay tapes and stickers turned up ^_^ I also got some tapes from Tiger and My Little Pony stickers from Poundland. It's funny how something so simple can bring so much joy. There's a big Discord sticker in that ponies pack and I can't decide what to do with him, it's too good.



I've wanted this book by Mais2 for a while and when she mentioned on instagram that she would be putting up a pre-order I set aside some Christmas money and kept my eyes peeled. It arrived the other day and it's beautiful, I love it so much. It's basically a copy of her sketchbook from while she was in Japan, her drawings are so good and I always love seeing people's sketchbooks and anything autobio and anything Japan so it's all a big win win win.

Fan Art Friday ~ Jake the Dog

I bought some Adventure Time leggings the other day that are yellow all over, covered with Jake and they're amazing. They look just like this.

stickers and speed and carrot tops

I ordered a few cheap tapes and stickers on ebay, they're coming from China so obviously I'm having to wait for them but the first stickers arrived super quick and they're so cute! I love love love it when things have wrong english on them because it's not translated correctly. Not in a point and laugh way, even though it is funny, but in a pure isn't language amazing and difficult and brilliant way. One of my favourites that you can't quite see in these pictures is "the wind softy touches me".



I made and listed my January zine. I swear every month I sit down to scan in the pages for this and I feel like I won't have enough to fill it because I feel like I haven't been drawing and then it turns out I have plenty. I actually deleted some stuff that I wanted to add but it wouldn't fit.




I went to post a couple of orders and Will came along for the stroll and we ended up in the train station eating sausage rolls then went to the corner shop for fizzy pop and sweets. I had a much needed irn bru.



I always feel like I don't have enough time and will never get anywhere because the week runs out before I've 'achieved' anything or something and I got kind of obsessed with how long things take, even the smallest little things, and trying to be quick, figuring out what order to do stuff in most efficiently. Writing it out now I'm still thinking 'but that sounds smart, think about all these things and get as much done in a day as possible' but I realised it's been stressing me out and I'm so tired all the time even though I still feel like I'm not getting anything done. So the past few days I've decided to try really hard to walk slower and just generally potter about and not worry so much about what the time is and I definitely feel calmer already. I'll have to wait and see if my productivity changes or not. But I also need to remember I'm not doing it to be more productive, that would be counter-intuitive. It will be interesting to see if I can feel better and still get the same done or maybe get more done or maybe I get less done and need to figure that out. I don't know yet but my point is I was literally moving too fast and it was stressing me out and now I'm trying to move slower and it feels good. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.



We've started actually intentionally watching things in the evening rather than zoning out infront of something neither of us really want to see. Will's friend is letting us use their netflix account which is an amazing addition to our lives. We both very much enjoy Timothy Olyphant and Drew Barrymore so we watched Santa Clarita Diet and it was such a good combo of totally gross and really cheesy acting. We're in the middle of Good Morning Call and enjoying it very much. I found it while Will was away a while ago and wasn't sure if he'd be interested but luckily he's as into it as I am. Yesterday we watched the first episode of She-Ra. I'm not sure I've ever actually seen any He-Man or She-Ra and it turns out it's brilliant, the colours, the gayness, the design, the lady that talks like a cat. I love it.



On the one day of the week I wouldn't have been able to go, the library had a super cheap comics and manga sale and it was very sad but Will popped in on his way to work and came home with these awesome treats. I wasn't expecting there to be such good books available which kind of makes it sadder that I couldn't go but at least I still get to enjoy these ex-library beauties. At the minute I'm reading Death Note. It's so good, I'm reading them so fast I can't get hold of them quick enough.

In this video you can see how much Bernard likes carrot tops and also a massive pin board Will brought home. We're not allowed to make our home nice because we rent and *insert landlord rant* so being able to cover this pin board in amazing things is going to help make our home feel so much less gross. We just need to find some pins worthy of the beautiful things we'll be pinning up ^_^

InstaSnapLineStoryChat #8

My instagram stories are a real lesson in not worrying what anyone thinks at the minute. I imagine it doesn't look like it to anyone else but to me the knowledge that every time I think 'should I post that?' and post it anyway is feeling pretty powerful for my broken little brain ^_^ (I'm pretty sure that sentence doesn't make complete sense but I'm too busy chair dancing to k-pop to figure out how to fix it <3 p="">

Fan Art Friday ~ Princess Allura

I just finished re-watching the first series of Voltron yesterday so fan art friday was an easy choice. I can't wait to watch series 2 but also I don't want to because I'm nervous about what will happen (I get way too invested in cartoons)(but it's because cartoons are the best).
So here is Princess Allura with her mice (and a sneaky Gudetama in the scanner ^_^)

Art Journal Flip Through ~ January 2017

My art journal pages from January. I don't really have anything to say about them ^_^

hair and trees and mochi

It's been pretty grey and damp round here lately. We didn't have any rain for ages but it was foggy, damp and overcast a lot and we actually got some rain the other day. Rain isn't pleasant, it comes in our house if it's heavy and I feel bad that I can't let Bernard out but also rain can be nice. I actually went out in it and after not having any for a while it was nice to go walking in the rain.



My first society6 payment came through this month. Someone bought a hot dog throw blanket and it made me super happy ^_^
Getting more designs up on there and redbubble is on my list of things to get well on with this year, along with learning to sew. I have no idea where to start though!





I bleached my roots and added some blue and I'm super happy with it. I put pink back over the pink I already had and then added blue to where the green was. I was thinking if I didn't put blue all the way down there'd be green at the bottom and if I was sloppy on the top it'd mix and make some good purple patches. The sloppyness making purple worked wonderfully but the green mostly disappeared. However, it looks a bit like the sea with the washed out bluey-green sections and I'm in love with it. I imagine my hair will always turn out differently to how I imagine but so long as there's colour I don't really mind what it's doing.




We went back to the woods for an afternoon break and found out it's even bigger than we thought last time. Seriously, I don't understand where this all is in relation to roads I know about. We ended up in a park that has a zip line and then went back in the woods and were ages walking through a whole other section before finding our way back to an exit. I love it.




If I could eat mochi every day I'd be a happy human. I have this amazing pile to entertain me once I find free time so I am already a pretty happy human.
If you have any interest in seeing Bernard hang out in a plant pot this is the video for you. It made my day, he tried to get in there a while ago but just kind of fell over and hasn't tried since. This time though he just hopped right in and it was adorable.



We made it through January! Well done you, well done me, well done everyone else ^_^ February can be tough, winter drags and you don't have the 'new year yeah let's do this' vibe but I think we'll be ok